Petroleum-derived Liquid
by inkynhdmowhj
Summary: Ichigo Kurosaki is a 15-yea-, no, a 20-year old man with the ability to see ghos-, to spot illegal activities. His life changes when he meets a god of dea-, a police officer, who helps him by giving him her powe-, her police cruiser to protect the town of Karakura from the Hollo-, from the growing crime scene.
1. Cop and Strawberry

...

I would like to apologize in advance for how stupid this is going to be, and also point out that I will probably never finish it lol. That is all.

...

* * *

"I've been in this same spot for too long...Maybe I should move...?"

* * *

**Karakura Town: 7:13 p.m. Friday**

"Hey, hey, hey! What are you doing, wait a second!"

**Ichigo/20 years old**

**Hair color/probably fake**

**Eye color/common**

**Occupation/parking enforcement officer**

He already knew how this would play out. It was the same every time.

"What does it look like? I'm giving you a ticket." And then next was...

"WHAT? Why? I'm here, just let me move my car! I'm leaving anyway, there's no point!"

He really needed a new job.

"This lady's trying to park her car, and you've been in that spot for five hours. See the sign there? Two-hour parking."

He was getting really tired of this shit. He finished filling out the ticket. Next was the calm response, his least favorite.

"But I'm leaving now, no need to give me that! Look, sir, I'm so sorry. Sorry I wasted your time, but I'll move right away if you'll just let me-"

He ripped the paper out and handed it to the man.

"If you're sorry, then shouldn't you apologize to her?" He gestured to the woman in the car, her signal blinking.

"UNBELIEVABLE! WHY ARE YOU POLICEMEN SO HUNGRY FOR OUR MONEY? IS IT FOR THOSE NEW CARS? FOR YOUR COFFEE BREAK? WHY?!"

He held the ticket in his fist and angrily got in his car and drove away. Ichigo sensed it.

"HEY! THIS IS A SCHOOL ZONE, SLOW DOWN! This idiot, going this fast...Sorry, ma'am, I gotta go!"

"Oh no, thank you! Ahahaha!"

He ran to his car, provided by his shitty job, and followed the speeding car.

All in a matter of seconds.

**Ichigo/20 years old**

**Hair color/bad**

**Eye color/common**

**Occupation/parking enforcement officer**

**Special skill/-**

He reached the criminal quickly, and made some adjustments to his ticket. So what if it wasn't part of his job description?

**"Ability to spot illegal activities immediately."**

* * *

"...Attention all units, keep an eye out for a stolen 2009 Toyota Avalon. Plate number..."

And it zoomed right past her.


	2. Driver

"It's near...If I could just..." She sped out of her hiding spot and began the chase. The vehicle started moving even faster now, and she followed close behind.

"The light!" As the light changed from yellow to red, she stopped her car completely. There was a loud sound when she felt the impact on the back of the car.

"What the hell!? What was that?" She looked in her rear view mirror, rubbing the back of her neck, and saw a parking enforcement vehicle too close behind her. She stuck her head out the window and saw the other driver sticking his head out as well.

"Move your car, cop!" She looked at him, then the red light. As an officer of the law, was it really okay to break the law? She chose against it.

"I am an officer, and you will address me as such! I refuse to move. Please pull over, sir !"

* * *

This cop was just asking for it. She was letting him get away! What kind of cop was she, anyway? If she turned her siren on, she could get him before he could! He backed up all he could and pressed the gas pedal.

He was able to move her car out of the way and begin the chase again.

* * *

"What is this fool doing? Does he wish to spend the night in jail?" Her car was pushed to the right and, when the light changed, she turned her siren on and pursued the criminal.

* * *

Finally, he heard a siren. Maybe she finally came to her senses. The criminal could be apprehended and he could go home. She pulled up next to him and rolled down her window.

"Sir, please pull over to the side!"

...?

"THE FUCK IS THIS!? YOU'RE CHASING _ME_?"

He _really_ needed a new job.


End file.
